Dear Santa

My friends at the Bavarian Orange Kommandos are well known for their exploits (click here) and this week they have come up trumps again for they have raided the Stormont postbags and found a few letters to Santa....

Dear Santa,
This year I have been very good and I would have to agree with everyone when they say that I have steered the European economy with a steady hand and a manly frown through the troubled waters it has found itself in. As saviour of the Euro, I would like a new moustache for Christmas, new motorbike leathers, a calculator and a bottle of Buckfast.
Please, please, please, please!
Sincerely yours,
Sammy Wilson

Dear Santa,

I want a pokemon. And a action man. And a X-Box. And a iphone. And a blow job.
So I do.
John O'Dowd

Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is a big black man.
Love and tickles,
Iris
xoxox

Dear Bastardface,
Last year, I asked you for the Irish Presidency.
Did you deliver? Did you fuck.
You better bring me something very, very, cool this year because if you don't you'll be going back to the North Pole with a very sore South Pole.
Reflect on that, ok?
Martin

Dearest Mr. Claws
I have been such a good little boy this year that I feel no shame at all in asking you to bring be the following items this year:
A big James Dean poster
A box set of Barbara Streisand DVDs
Kylie's greatest hits
The Judy Garland CD Anthology
Erasure concert tickets
A trip to San Francisco
Scented soap
Scented candles
Silky unisex underwear
Thank you Santa, I am sure I can count on you, I know you will "pull it off".
Love
Jeffrey
PS Feel free to come upstairs and tuck me in!