Lemmy out of Mötörhead's Banbridge Diary

Lemmy jaywalking in Banbridge yesterday

I first came here in the early 70's. Banbridge was full of Hawkwind fans back then and we used to fill the stadium on the Castlewellan Road three or four nights in a row every time we visited. When I left the band, I decided to move here, it seemed natural as I was held in some affection by the locals and of course it's a classy place with fantastic people. I like to tell people I live in LA, but that´s just a ruse to keep them off the scent as it were.

Because it's such a terrific spot, the town is packed with stars and other prominent people. Bowie and Iggy Pop share a flat up the Newry Road, I never bother with them much, they are the worst bar flys in town. They've recently started hanging out with Col. Gadaffi who is another waster. He thought he'd come over here from the Med and start running the show but all he's doing it seems is frisking girls at the Coach a few hours of the week and bumming drinks the rest of the time. His new scheme is to hold some kind of theatrical revue show in the leisure centre. Apparently it's going to be called "The Ladyboys of Dungannon". I'll believe it when I see it.

Lemmy and the love of his life

Life in Banbridge has been good to me. About 10 years ago, I met the love of my life. Amazing woman. She   faked her own death to escape from her father in law and ended up here. Who'd have thought that I of all people would end up married with two kids? Lemmy's "happy ever after", eh?

Of course it's not all plain sailing for everyone. Dana and David Trimble's marriage was explosive and short lived and to be perfectly honest Leonardo DiCaprio should never have married that bitch Madonna. Still, Patick Kielty and Rihanna seem to be doing alright, word has it that there'll be a bit of ring activity in the near future. Hope I get an invitation!

Well, I'd best go and put the kids to bed and then settle down in front of the TV for a bit of the old X Factor and a cup of cocoa. Life's quiet and settled. Life's good, all thanks to Banbridge.