I heard with some delight and a little bemusement that our valiant First Minister attended a Gaelic football match between Tyrone and Londonderry yesterday. Wisely, he brought along some muscle in the form of the Deputy First Minister just in case he was justifiably lynched by sports fans who resented their day's entertainment being turned into a photo opportunity by some not-a-bigot-anymore-DUP slimer who has had no end of worries about an errant wife, dodgy expenses claims and imaginative property deals.
But he needn't have worried, my sources tell me that the Gaelic fans actually appreciated Robbo's presence and that most of them left the stadium with a new outlook on life. Indeed, as they were leaving the event many could be heard saying things like "actually, the Union's not such a bad idea after all, I think I'll vote DUP from now on".
But don't you think it would have been better if he had gone to the County Monaghan village of Clontibret instead and said "sorry for being a dick all those years ago". If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here. But I suppose that would have been a bad move. Yesterday's appearance at a sporting fixture cost him nothing and was zero risk, whereas a trip to Clontibret would have opened up the possibility for ridicule and brought back some inconvenient memories. Like a true politician, he settled for the easy and pointless way out which would guarantee him some positive press for a change.
Pointless reconciliation gestures yield positive photo ops and cheap good publicity, so I can see the point of them. But what else along these lines might we have to look forward to in the coming months? Here are some thoughts:
But at the end of the day I guess that pointless reconciliation gestures are important because they are so unimportant. By trying to persuade us that the little things matter, the politicians are in fact admitting that the big things are either too hard to do or too inconvenient to approach. They are a happy veneer of activity which cover up incompetence, inability and impotence.
End of rant.
But he needn't have worried, my sources tell me that the Gaelic fans actually appreciated Robbo's presence and that most of them left the stadium with a new outlook on life. Indeed, as they were leaving the event many could be heard saying things like "actually, the Union's not such a bad idea after all, I think I'll vote DUP from now on".
But don't you think it would have been better if he had gone to the County Monaghan village of Clontibret instead and said "sorry for being a dick all those years ago". If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here. But I suppose that would have been a bad move. Yesterday's appearance at a sporting fixture cost him nothing and was zero risk, whereas a trip to Clontibret would have opened up the possibility for ridicule and brought back some inconvenient memories. Like a true politician, he settled for the easy and pointless way out which would guarantee him some positive press for a change.
Pointless reconciliation gestures yield positive photo ops and cheap good publicity, so I can see the point of them. But what else along these lines might we have to look forward to in the coming months? Here are some thoughts:
- Martin McGuinness actually puts some money into a bank for a change
- The Orange Order will allow Catholics to join its ranks (not that they would want to, but that's beside the point)
- Martina Anderson stays silent about how proud she is of being a convicted criminal for five minutes
- Uncle Tom Elliott proposes that the "Ulster Fry" is renamed the "Easter Rising Fry"
- Gerry Kelly spends an evening at a Boys' Brigade meeting
- David Ford has a cup of tea with a homeless person
- John O'Dowd pays his TV liscence
- Willie McCrea sings "The Soldier's Song" in public
- Mitchel McLaughlin tries to smile without looking like a rapist
But at the end of the day I guess that pointless reconciliation gestures are important because they are so unimportant. By trying to persuade us that the little things matter, the politicians are in fact admitting that the big things are either too hard to do or too inconvenient to approach. They are a happy veneer of activity which cover up incompetence, inability and impotence.
End of rant.
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